It was all going swimmingly at the cross-dressing and even I started to feel strangely aroused as our illegal alien pranced around in Mary’s pearls and stilettos. Horrified would be the word and neither the letters E or T have been mentioned in close proximity since for fear of him suffering a nervous breakdown. all washed out and twitching in a ditch may be too much for his sweet innocent little mind to process. Regrettably, what I hadn’t entertained, was that watching his beloved E.T. What’s more, I’ll even make that a hell no. You see, he had recently returned from a holiday in Orlando, Florida and had a whale of a time riding Elliot’s bicycle above the rooftops of Universal Studio so he was surely about to join the leagues of faithful followers right? the honor of a much belated second view and even recruited my six-year-old son as my co-pilot to help keep his legacy alive. As a result, it was almost twenty years before I heard the words “phone home” again, by which time I had been introduced to the antithesis to Spielberg’s film, Harry Bromley Davenport’s Xtro, and bagged myself the guiltiest of pleasures in the galaxy in the process. Don’t blame me, video piracy is the true culprit here as I made the mistake of watching a bootleg copy and could barely discern his glowing digit amongst all the static interference. That said, while I can appreciate its quality, this big-budget bonanza just doesn’t do it for me personally. Indeed, should I be held to gunpoint and asked to donate Steven Spielberg’s extravaganza with a score out of ten, then full marks would be dished out accordingly and without a second’s procrastination. then shall we? It’s not as though I have anything personal against everyone’s favorite extraterrestrial. May as well dig myself a little deeper right? Actually, quitting whilst ahead may be more shrewd and, perhaps, explaining the reasoning behind my misdemeanors. I guess that, while I’m being totally honest, I should also inform you that I’ve never actually watched Avengers Assemble all the way through either. also although I’m not entirely sure that will get me off the hook with any science-fiction aficionados amongst us. If it’s any consolation, I’m indifferent to E.T. I accept that many of you have already left in disgust and trust that, one day, you’ll find it in your hearts to forgive my trespass and offer me a second chance. It actually feels rather good to get that off my chest as I have been carrying it around like airport luggage for way too long now and the relief is nigh-on incalculable. Feel free to pummel my face as you would be well within your rights after such a wretched admission. I’m clearly stalling for time so, without further ado, time to take my shit on this pot. On second thoughts, best get my coat in advance, as the welcome mat will likely be pulled from beneath my feet in just a handful of seconds. I don’t even know where to begin so I guess the best thing to do would be just to blurt it out right? I mean, how bad can this declaration actually be? Chances are, I’ve built it up far too much and my penance will be a simple “meh!” and shrug of the shoulders. Perhaps I am a serial date rapist or have Donald Trump tattooed just above my ass dimple? Fret not, it ain’t quite that despicable but, to any of you who happen to be partial to events that transpired a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the following disclosure may well be unrepentable. However, this particular truth nugget may be all too much for your contemplation and I will have no complaints whatsoever if half of you never speak to me after today. There are many things I am not proud of and wouldn’t so much as blink enlightening you about them as I know the Grueheads are a non-judgmental bunch. Alternate history timeline, in which there was a larger amount of jedi that survived order 66 and joined the rebel alliance which resulted in Palpatine making his own order of dark jedi similar to the inquisitors but many times more powerful than them.I must apologize in advance for the shocking revelation I am about to expose you all to. Now with the increasing rebel activity, criminal activity and the brute force of the Galactic Empire what will you do? Darkness grows as rumors spread of a new Sith Apprentice killing more and more remaining Jedi, any remaining Jedi are dead or unknown to the empire of their survival. More and more rebellions arise getting more and more organized, the people of the planet of Callos were recently bombed and had their entire planet polluted leading to a slow and painful death for the planet. The Year is 2 BBY, the Galaxy nearing total war! As the empire expands its reach and the imperial senate grows more, and more obsolete unrest rises.
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